Rector’s Blog, When You Have Enough Faith - The Rev. Philip DeVaul

I feel like I'm missing some deep sense of certainty. I mentioned this last week, as I opined about how I wish God had given us more certainty. I expressed annoyance that faith, by definition, apparently requires uncertainty - otherwise it wouldn't be faith. When I was writing that I was thinking mostly about my frustration with God for not making things more obvious. And, hey, it's all well and good to blame God for things. But I often find that when I am blaming others or feeling resentful, I'm really just deflecting feelings about my own shortcomings. And I probably do that with God. So today I want to give God a break and turn attention toward myself and my own faith inferiority complex. Which is to say, somehow when the conversation comes to faith, I think I can be doing better. But I don't really know what better looks like. Maybe you experience this: the feeling that somehow, you're supposed to be doing something you're not, or you're supposed to be "better" at something without actually knowing what "better" is. That nebulous ideal, better.